Photography Reminds Me to Be Present
Having once been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety and depression in my early twenties, I seemed to only know how to exist within the confines of the reverie in which I would relive past losses, rejections, traumas and failures, comforted by the familiarity of the sadness that would follow. The only constant I knew. And if I wasn't in said reverie, I'd find myself preoccupied with fear of the future, of the unknown, in a constant state of fight or flight, or how I like to refer to it as 'sleeping with your shoes on,' certain that the past would inevitably repeat itself and determined to not be blindsided by its return. A decades-long mobius that prevented me from knowing and engaging in the present.
Thankfully, many years (and stories later), God blessed me with a sense of peace, a new way of viewing the world, along with a series of events (saving for future posts), which has led to a passion for photography. Photography gives me enthusiasm for the future - a reason to get out of bed and participate in life. I find vibrance and beauty in what I once saw as mundane - technicolor where before there was only varying shades of gray. It is this beauty which charts a course to the present. Nuance gently nudging me along the way.